Ahhh....guilt...that awful feeling that sneaks it's way in to every decision I make. Now, it's not true guilt I struggle with, it's false guilt. A few weeks ago, while locked in my bedroom wrapping presents, I happened to have the radio tuned in to Focus on the Family. Not something I usually listen to, but I was just too lazy to find another station and in a hurry to get lots done. The guest on was R.T. Kendall and he was speaking on Total Forgiveness and the subject of "pseudo" guilt came up. He was totally describing me and, I venture to say, many other moms. Just one example for myself is...when I'm at work I feel guilty that I'm not spending enough time and energy with the kids and Chris and when I'm at home, I feel guilty that I'm not working and contributing financially.
Since hearing the broadcast, I've done some research on the subject. Someone with false guilt has an overactive conscience and as a result is in a constant state of uncertainty. A person driven by false guilt is afraid to let their mind rest for fear they may let their guard down and possibly offend someone. They need to be considered an assest or worthy, a ''good person'', instead of letting someone down and becoming a liability. This guilt is a way of feeling in control.
Now here's the part that impacted me the most...true guilt is easy to deal with...the sin is obvious, we confess it and we are forgiven. False guilt is sinful because it is not from God, it is an idol...we dwell on it and obsess over it, because pride won't accept us being weak. We then suffer from the "martyr syndrome". When we won't forgive ourselves we're doing the devil's work for him.
Dealing with my false guilt is definitely one of the things at the top of my resolutions list for this upcoming year. With a little more time reading and praying I know this is possible.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God,
and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ."
Phillipians 4:6-7
2 comments:
Good word. I used to suffer with a lot of false guilt but I've thankfully been able to overcome it...for the most part. :)
Interesting post! I definitely suffer from the 'false guilt'complex at times. 'Constant state of uncertainty' could describe me. I will have to delve into that a little more. Thanks for the info!
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