Deep Thoughts

As a teenager, we used to love to watch Saturday Night Live. For some reason, the other day Jack Handey and his "Deep Thoughts" came to mind. I recently decided to google this topic and discovered that Jack Handey is a real person. He was born in San Antonio, Texas on Feb. 25, 1949. He is a humorist known for his one-liners. He worked for a newspaper, but was fired for offending someone. He then went to work with Steve Martin, which led to him working on SNL. This past April, he published his first collection. Here is are a few samples of Jack Handey's "Deep Thoughts"....

"Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind."

"Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window."

"Instead of having 'answers' on a math test, they should just call them 'impressions' and it you got a different 'impression' so what, can't we all be brothers?"

"I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people. "

"I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway."

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."

"Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up."

"One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late."

As you can see, you definitely need a different sense of humour to enjoy "Deep Thoughts", but I hope at least one or two of these made you smile!